My baby has turned 3! (celebratory horn) Saying that with a lump in my throat!
Where has my baby gone? Yes, he still is my little baby boy, but he’s another year older, another year wiser and another year less dependent on mummy!
Becoming a parent was one of the most incredible things I could have ever done, I am so glad Sam and I had Austin. He was our little miracle baby! I feared for so many years that I wouldn’t be able to have children as I was told I had polycystic ovaries!
My pregnancy was great apart from suffering with symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD) badly! I ended up losing the use of my left leg sometimes and was on crutches. Let me tell you, there is no fun in being heavily pregnant and having to support your weight on crutches, especially if you are hungry and want to eat at the same time or carry snacks!
That was the only main problem I faced during my pregnancy, apart from a few negative comments from people about their concerns for my moods! I’m going to be honest, I too was a little worried I would become more hormonal and become worse in myself during pregnancy. Instead the complete opposite happened to our surprise! The old me came back, and for the first time in ages I was normal, I felt like Mary Poppins!
God I miss the days of when we could just have cuddles and he wanted his mummy, however, at the time I couldn’t wait for him to get older. Never wish the years away!
I’ve decided in honour of Austin being the big 3! I shall write a few blogs about the highs and lows I had of becoming a mummy and the journey Sam and me have been on together. From talking about disaster birthday parties, falling out with my family, my pregnancy journey, the after care, incredible support I had, watching Austin grow up, to how it can be hard going places, especially when disasters strike, like vomiting everywhere in a restaurant to destroying his school on the settling in day!
Being a parent with mental health is very hard, it’s awful when there is so much stigma around mental health! The worst thing I found was when no one has an understanding of PMDD and can offer you support or give you answers.
My time being a mummy has been very trying at times as I was diagnosed when Austin was 1!
I personally feel that Austin hasn’t had the best start, because I was constantly trying to get help but no one listened or gave me the right help! Despite my own beliefs I know he is such a happy, confident little boy, that gives me strength to be my better self and raise awareness to help other mothers who are going through the same struggles that I have and are going through.
Having PMDD and being a mum is very, very hard! There really aren’t any parenting books to help you, how do you explain to your baby you have a disorder that affects you and makes you unwell, but you look perfectly normal! They don’t understand, they just gargle and look at you, or like my son now, tells me to see the doctor!
I’m very blessed to have had Austin, his personality is of an old soul, he likes things to be explained to him, his quirky personality and kind heart makes me so proud, he’s the most caring 3 year old going! He is also very strict and tells me off for swearing or getting annoyed (doesn’t happen very often as I sit on the naughty step). Austin has no problems in telling me to sit on the time out step when I am being naughty or as he says “reflect on your actions!”.
The one thing Sam and me want, is for Austin to grow up in a happy, caring home environment. I really want Austin to grow up with mummy being normal or just balanced. When he is able to understand, we will sit down with him and explain what PMDD actually is, give home reassurance and make him a better person for knowing about this disorder.
